External Motivation

I didn't want to run yesterday. Well, I wanted to run but I didn't feel like running. I wanted to sit on my couch. Does that make sense?

The weather was perfect for running, my body was ready for it, and I wanted to be otuside, but I wasn't mentally present. And the results made that clear. I ran at Juilfs and didn't make any changes in path or interval times. But my legs started hurting right away (maybe I started too quickly) and all I could think about whas how I'd rather be somewhere else. It's kind of hard to keep a positive attitude when that happens. I did a lot of internal yelling at myself instead of the usual internal coaxing and encouraging.

Needless to say, I finished a little behind my last two successful runs, but I'm still under my initial goal. I finished two miles in 27:30 and I didn't cut any running intervals short. I actually was still able to convince myself to run a few meters over on about half the runs, which is good. But Week 3 still seems so far away. I'm struggling to see how I'll ever be able to move on from Week 2.

So, how do I stay motivated to keep running after iffy workouts like that? There are several motivators, but today I'm going to focus on the external motivators. This blog follows this week's trip to Atlanta for work, which included two plane rides (there and back).

Let me tell you, you don't know uncomfortable until you've been a tall, fat girl wedged into an airplane seat for even the shortest flight. In fact, this unfortunate fat-girl situation is one of my top external motivators, along with not fitting on amusement park rides, and exceeding weight limits on anything intended for normal adults (e.g., trampolines). This humiliation is unbearable. Really, weight-related embarrassment is pretty much the only kind of embarrassment that gets me down. To top it all off, these three "I don't fit" situations usually happen with some sort of audience.

Now, I would never suggest that roller coaster manufacturers re-design their seats to meet the needs of the obese. (Airplanes are a different story and I address that below.) For those of you who don't know, I spent three summers working at Kings Island, a Cincinnati amusement park, and one fabulous summer at Coney Island, it's little-yet-older sister. I spent many moments explaining to guests why they couldn't ride if the "bar" didn't click, even if they thought they could hold on throughout the ride and not fall out. (Morons.) "Why can't they just make the seats bigger?" they might ask. Well, because then kids and people of a healthy weight might fall out and there's no reason to risk someone else's safety so fat people can ride.

Tall people, different story -- you didn't chose that. Weight is a choice, unless affected by some sort of extreme health ailment, in which case you shouldn't be riding rides at all. (First PKI-er to name the 5 safety restrictions in the comments wins!) I know, controversial topic, but I am both tall and fat and feel I can speak openly about this because of my experiences. But I'm open to hearing your thoughts.

Back to planes -- is anyone comfortable in an airplane seat? Really, I want to know. If no one is comfortable, then I can stop my ranting and move on. But what's the harm in creating, I don't know, two rows of seats tht have higher arm rests and deeper and wider seats, especially if you charge those people just a little more? I'm not talking about first class seats here. I don't want extra service or squishier seats or my own private bathroom for $200 extra. I want butt, hip, and knee space for $50 extra. You could even make me check my bag if you wanted to. Just a thought.

So, sorry for the rant. It's not like the seat situation is the only thing about flying that makes me uncomfortable. My ears pop constantly, I get ill on the descent (fortunately just the decent), and I'm in constant fear of how my body will react. You see, I'm not afraid of flying like most people are. There comes a point when you just have to realize that if your plane crashes, you're likely going to die. Worrying about it is not going to help. Just relax.

I, on the other hand, get motion sick in cars and some amusement rides at the drop of a hat. Literally, that fast. The smell of a car and its airflow, even when it's sitting still, will ruin my day. Right Sarah? Mom? You've both experienced this first-hand. So, every flight since my first, which was just in February 2008, I've been petrified of uncontrollable vomiting and what have you. But, so far so good. Either my body doesn't react to plane rides that way, or my ritual cranberry-vodka OR Dramamine really helps (not both at once, I promise). Praise be to Dramamine.

So, on that note, a few slightly unrelated photos:

Here's a picture of me waiting for departure at the Atlanta airport from a previous trip.

My fearful expression is a dramatic reinactment of my first ever flight.
Oh, and this was from my trip to DC to see New Kids on the Block, October 2008.
Be jealous.

Atlanta airport, again from a previous trip.

Okay, so what have I learned. I've learned that my exercise efforts between Februrary 2009 (my last flight) and this past week's flight have not made airplane seats any more comfortable. In fact, I should have known that because I haven't lost more about 8 pounds in the last year's worth of working out. Tell me how it's possible, at my weight, to go from stagnant to working out and not see any results? I'll most definitely address this in a later post. Oh, and running when you don't want to is not fun and I'm not likely to get results when doing so.

So yes, I'm ending on a negative note. Boohoo. Please come again! =)