Cryin' and Whinin'

My sixth grade teacher used to tell us that Country Western music (C&W) was actually Cryin' & Whinin' music. I couldn't agree more.

Using that logic, though, I'm practically a superstar country music singer. I feel like I've done nothing but gripe and complain about my ailments over the last two weeks. First the plague (summer cold), then the stiff neck, now a crippling attack of lower back pain. What gives? Why everything at once? And why everything at once while I'm physically challenging myself more than ever before? Plus, I feel like a whining child in--yes, you guessed it--gym class again. Every time I let ABC Linda know that I'm not feeling so hot or my neck hurts or my back hurts, I feel like I'm making excuses. In a way I am, I guess, because I don't want to come across as disrespectful or lazy when I opt out of an exercise, you know? I'd rather have it out there in the open. And I'm grateful for my trainer because she doesn't make a big deal of it. She just suggests lots of stretching and lets me do my thing.

So, these three ailments ... could they all be tied together?

Well, I'm confident that the back issue is from boot camp (I'm almost positive of precisely which exercise did it), but I'm not sure I can tie the other two to that. Nor do I want to. Adventure Boot Camp has been a wonderful experience and I've been pushing myself and achieving awesome results because of it. It's not ABC's fault my body is falling apart; it's my fault for putting it through years of disuse.

Anyway, the reason I'm posting tonight is to let you know that I've made a decision. This is a big deal for a notoriously indecisive (well kind of notorious ... sometimes) person.

Earlier this week, ABC Brian mentioned a Saturday boot camp activity at a local park. I immediately wanted to go, but wasn't thrilled about using another one of my "vacation" days to get up early and sweat. What can I say ... I'm naturally lazy. Anyway, I've been toying with the idea for a few days. Well, after going to boot camp this morning and straining my back even more (attending camp this morning was probably a mistake, in hindsight), I've decided to skip tomorrow and go to Saturday's session. That'll give my back some time to get a little better before pushing it even more.

Wheeee! I made a decision!

So, what's up with my back?

I kind of have an existing lower back injury. I use the word "injury" lightly, because in my mind an injury involves a moment when you hurt yourself. And while this back thing probably involved a moment like that, I have no idea when or how long ago.

I do know some things, though. I know that I first saw a chiropractor for it while working at a previous job, so probably somewhere in 2005 or 2006. I dabbled with that briefly, using all my chiropractor points for my insurance and really not seeing any long-term improvements. I kind of have a bad taste for chiropractors, as do many people I know, but I don't hold anything against them personally (sorry Lindsey!) I'd like to not return to one if I can help it. I might look into physical therapy someday, though. I've heard some great things about it.

I also know that my back has "gone out" really, really badly one time. I was in the basement of my last apartment and POW! Locked up while bent over at about 90 degrees. That was the worst pain I've ever experienced and probably the scariest thing I've ever been through. My eyes browned out a few times and I hurt so bad I wanted to puke. I couldn't straighten up or sit down or get on the floor ... nothing. With my mom's help I finally managed to sit on a really high stack of pillows on the couch. Awful, awful, awful. I get chills thinking about it.

I know that I inadvertently caused a back pain episode (might have been the one above, actually), when I gave a toddler a "ride" once by putting her on my feet while sitting and lifting my feet up and down repeatedly. The next day was Hell. This is probably another reason I don't like children all that much. =)

I know that something as simple as trying to move a box (heavy, light, empty, whatever) with my feet will almost surely cause me to hurt the next day. DON'T KICK BOXES, PEOPLE!!!

So, that's my back story (heh heh ... get it?) in a nutshell. It hurts. A lot. It's a huge hassle when it gets flared up, but it goes away. It makes simple things, like walking, getting up, or bending over to wash my hands at the bathroom sink, really ridiculously difficult (I'm tall ... sinks are low). It makes focusing/functioning at work nearly impossible. It makes me want to just lie in bed for days.

But, I have my Biofreeze and plenty of Aleve, and my mom delivered a heating pad and some healthy (or not) Chik-Fil-A tonight. By Friday's boot camp, I should be a bit more ready to roll. Hopefully I can enjoy at least a little of my "vacation" by the pool--you know how comfy pool chairs can be. And hopefully I can go into my final week of boot camp at FULL THROTTLE without any stupid ailments to hold me back.

Three cheers for sleeping in tomorrow! Hip hip ...

The Blunders and Burdens of Being a Bouncing BBW

I have made a conscious decision to skip my run tomorrow evening.

[Ducks and covers to avoid thrown shoes]

Excuse me, but I still have to clean out the old apartment and I've been delaying too much already. Some things can wait (running). Some things cannot (cleaning to avoid extra expense). And who throws a shoe? Honestly?

Anyway, since I'm skipping my workout, I figured I'd punish myself by writing one of my "I'll tell you about that later" blog entries.

Today's topic? Boobs.

Do I have your attention now?

As I've mentioned before, I'm a BBW -- a big-breasted woman, as I believe we called it in my high school color guard.

(Yes, color guard. I know. Later. Now, focus. Don't make me type, italicize, bold, and enlarge the "B" word again.)

We're talking big. Like, break-your-own-nose-if-you-run-without-proper-support big. It's relatively hard to tell when you look at me because my stomach and fat rolls #1a through #4c, combined with my chest, make my torso look like a lumpy box instead of a top-heavy light bulb. Which speaks to the size of my stomach and rolls, because I have really broad shoulders too. (I'm painting a really pretty picture of myself, aren't I?)

This is all relevant, I swear.

Back in February, my friend Anne wrote about the challenges of finding a good, supportive sports bra if your chesty and active. (Feel free to check out the entry over at thefitbridesmaid.) And it is challenging! I remember being very young and being frustrated with the beating my chest would take from running the bases at softball or up and down the basketball court or in gym class. It didn't help that I developed at an extremely young age (one of the side effects of being an overweight child) and was surrounded by girls my age who had chests flatter than Clay Aiken's. My mom did buy me sports bras, but not great ones -- just whatever was cheapest and they didn't help much. Not her fault. The bouncing still hurt and looked ridiculous.

I think it was at the end of high school when I finally decided to start wearing two of them at once to try to tame the beasts. That helped, but I was embarassed when someone asked me why I wore two. At that time I didn't have the attitude I have now and didn't think to say, "Because I'm a whole 'lotta woman, little girl! I bet you don't have to wear one at all, do you?" Ha! Nah, I don't even have the guts to say that out loud now. In my head, it's a different story.

But the day finally came when I discovered the miracle bra. I wish I could remember how I found it. I don't know if it was a friend's recommendation or Oprah that pointed me to Enell . These are full-coverage, fugly bras for BBWs and beyond. (Okay, I think I just invented a future lingere shop name, right there. Copyrighted ... you can't steal it now!)

No, they aren't one bit attractive; they cover your front from your collar bone to your belly button practically. They're only moderately comfortable; they're made to be really, really tight to batten down the hatches. And they're expensive! Well, expensive as far as sports bras go, anyway.

But I couldn't care less. When I put that puppy on, not only am I fully secured and virtually bounceless when I run, but I'm very nearly Clay Aiken flat, which I haven't been since second grade.

So why am I telling you all this? Because everyone likes to read about boobs, right? Riiiight.

[Cue the inspirational music and wind machine while I step up on my podium]

Actually, it's because I want you all to know. I want you to know, in case you don't experience it first hand, that there are some additional challenges involved with being an active BBW. I want you to know about Enell bras so that you can spread the word. I want you to be able to console the next struggling, burgeoning little girl you come across and I want you to tell her that there's hope. She can do whatever she wants to do and she doesn't have to be embarassed by her bouncing bosoms.

[Crescendo music, shots of hopeful BBWs.]

She can run, she can jump, she can lock 'em and load 'em and reach for the stars. I want you to help me empower her!

[Wide shot of cheering crowd. And, scene.]

Are you crying yet, because I just welled up a little. Sniff.

Do you feel more educated? Or more violated? Do you have experience in this area? If so, I'd love to hear your words of wisdom, as I'm sure other readers will.

Okay, so, future run TBD. Moving madness should decrease significantly after this weekend, but will not be complete until April 30. Maybe I'll try to run before cleanup on Friday, or Saturday morning? Bah!

Unexpected Developments: Part 2

Well shoot. I need to get in the habit of writing down all the topics I want to blog about before I start. Otherwise I end up forgetting my main points. Hello, distractable!

So, the second unexpected development that may alter my running patterns in the near future: I totally just won a free session at Cincinnati Adventure Boot Camp for Women. Honestly, I'm petrified. The thought of me in "boot camp" at 5:30 in the morning -- shivers down my spine. Can I keep up? Will I be able to breathe? Am I going to hurt myself? Am I going to die? All reasonable concerns, right?

And it's coming up soon too. The next one in my part of town starts REALLY SOON. We're talking DAYS. Ehhh!

Needless to say, I'm going to need some egging on. I think most people call it encouragement. I'm already starting to formulate some excuses for missing sessions.

Breathe!

Unexpected Developments

Well, friends, I've done it. I was a bit over-ambitious yesterday in my physical activities and now I have the back pain to show for it. Or feel. Whatever.

After my post yesterday morning, I headed out for my second try at Week 2 Day 1 of C25K. The great news is that I found a place to start that keeps me from running up the beastly hill twice. WOOHOO! Oh, and I shaved some more time off the two-mile run. Since I ended my last running interval before Beast Hill (that's it, I've now named it), I was able to jog to the finish line.

New progress milestone: 2 miles in 28 minutes -- a 14-minute mile pace. WOOHOO!

Anyway, I completed my run, doused myself in a cold shower, and moved some crap into my new apartment. Unfortunately, somewhere between my run and leaving the new digs, I did something to rip my lower back to shreds. It's strange because I don't even remember straining it, or kicking any boxes (which usually does me in in a snap). Needless to say, that put a damper on my moving activities for the rest of what was supposed to be a productive Saturday.

Wah waaaaaah!

Kind of messed with my Sunday, too. I could have run this morning. I could have taken two loads of stuff to the new place. But, I settled for one minor load. At least it's something, right?

Why am I telling you this? Because I'm making an excuse, that's why. And what are you supposed to do when I make an excuse? All together now ... "SHOOT HER DOWN!"

[ducks and covers]

I'll let you be the judge of my legitimacy. I will, once again, be spending the night cuddled up with my dream man, Ben Gay. Hopefully he gets rid of this kink so I can get something done this week, whether it be running, moving, or both.

Excuses, Excuses ... and Meet My Park

Happy Saturday morning, readers!

First, I’d like to apologize for my poor showing so far. As I’m sure happens with many ambitious bloggers, I started with a bang, full of hope for my little plot of websphere, and quickly fizzled out. Well, I have an excuse: I’m moving this month – more specifically next weekend – and I’m a bit preoccupied. I got the keys to my new place this week and I just can’t keep myself away. I love the new place so much that my poor little running habit has been packed away in one of the moving boxes and I’ve had some trouble finding it. Well, I found it this morning; it was packed in the same box as my grasp on reality and the cat nip. Wouldn’t you know it, my blogging commitment was also in there. Geesh.

Anyway, this is the perfect opportunity for me to share a little more about myself:

I’m a rationalizer, an excuse maker, and an abandoner.

Usually these nasty character traits only rear their heads when I’m dreading something. For example, there was a time (most of my life, actually) when I didn’t like to exercise. Shocker! I’d rationalize not going to the gym by saying, “It’s not like the gym is helping me at all,” or “Skipping step aerobics isn’t going to make me gain weight.” I’d skip a workout with excuses like sore muscles, menstrual cramps, lack of sleep, a broken fingernail, or a happy hour with friends. Then I’d get frustrated at all my excuses and lose hope of getting back on track because of all my skipped workouts, and finally, I’d give up. A perfect example: I once signed a three-year contract for a gym and only used about 9 months worth. I’ll get into that more later.

Here’s the difference this time around: I’m enjoying running. The excuses I make now just make me sad and more eager to lace up and hit the pavement next time. I actually encountered this phenomenon with my step class; I liked the workout, I liked the cheesy ‘80s music, I liked my classmates and I hated missing class. (I’ll talk more about step class in later entries. Bottom line is it’s fun and a great workout.)

There is a significant problem with skipping a few running workouts that I didn’t experience with step aerobics. Missing a run really sets me back in my progress: I feel like I have to go backwards to continue moving forward. Skipping a step class meant I didn’t get better, but I certainly didn’t lose progress by missing one workout. Skipping a run means it'll be all the more difficult to complete the same interval next time, let alone increase intensity, as dictated by C25K.

Speaking of C25K, I finished my first round of Week 2. (Week 2: 5-minute warm-up walk, then alternate 90 seconds of jogging with 2 minutes of walking for 20 minutes, then cool down walk for 5 minutes.) This one kicked my butt, and I’m already planning on at least another two bouts with this “week.” It’s hard. I struggle to finish the 90 seconds of jogging, especially since it always seems to happen on a hill.

I’m running at a local park. I basically grew up at this park. I played softball there for 10 years, skinned my knees on its sidewalks, got the wind knocked out of me by falling off the jungle gym, got sand in my shoes and hair and eyes, received electro-shock therapy from the static generated by the friction of the slides, flew kites in its muddy fields, pretended to play tennis on its courts, and sweated all over every blade of grass within its fences. Ah, the memories…. Truly, I do love it there. It’s home, and what better place to embarrass myself as I learn to run?

Anyway, the run/walk/bike path is a mile long, which allows for convenient distance measurements, and it meanders up and down a seemingly slight hill. Somehow, no matter where I start running, the C25K dude being piped through my iPhone headphones always manages to tell me to run up the same friggin’ hill. It’s a gradual incline and lasts for approximately 90 seconds of my running speed. Perfect. Geesh.

The beastly hill at Juilfs Park

At least I’ve made it every time so far, mostly because my ability to talk myself into things is quite strong. (Unfortunately it’s not a strong as my ability to talk myself out of things, but it’s still strong, nonetheless.) I purposefully quicken my breath and start leaning forward as I approach the hill. That seems to help a bit. It doesn’t help the craaaazy shin splints that I can’t seem to escape, but it helps with momentum and breath control. (Shin splints will be a recurring theme and, again, I’ll talk about them later.)

Go ahead and throw 100 – 150 extra pounds of weight on your shoulders and see how your legs and lungs feel after running uphill for 90 seconds. Yeah, that’s what I thought. Ha!

So back to what I was saying: I’ll be repeating Week 2 a few times, I’m sure. I just need to stay on track with my workouts. It’s going to become increasingly important that I stick to a three-times-a-week regimen as the weather gets warmer, too. Ugh, even thinking about running during a Cincinnati summer brings flashbacks to high school gym class and that one dreadful year of “summer gym.” I can feel my chest clogging with humidity now. Gack! Cough! Heave!

Excuse me. Ahem.

So, huge blog. Sorry. I just have so much to fill you in on, and I will. I must learn to balance background information with current affairs. Oh, and since you’ve been introduced to my excuse-making habits, please, please, please call me out on it. If you see me drifting toward rationalization and abandonment, don’t let me get away with it. Please and thank you.

Progress report: I'm finishing 2 miles in about 28:40 (1:20 left on my 30-minute workout when I finish the second mile). So that's a 14:20 1-mile pace, right? Hmm, better than high school. Interesting.