Strong-Arm It

I have determined something and I wanted to share it with you all. Oh, and brace yourself for some bicep pictures.

I've decided to try to accomplish something within a certain period of time. Some people might call that a "goal," but we all know how I feel about goals. Most people would also figure out a way to measure that "goal" to determine success. But since I'm not setting a goal, I will not measure anything, at least not in the technical sense.

See, for normal people, goals should be SMART. That's S-M-A-R-T:

Kindly borrowed from smart-goal-setting-tips.com.

 This thing I've determined won't be entirely specific. I'm not going to measure it, per se. It's attainable, for sure, or I wouldn't even try (because I'm just that driven). It's realistic (see last point). And it's going to happen before a specific date--May 12, 2012, to be exact.

If I did set goals, this one would probably sound something like this:

Decrease the circumference of my biceps by x inches by May 12, 2012.

But NO! No goals! No measuring! Otherwise it will not happen. I balk at goals--we know this.

So, what I've determined is this:

There is absolutely no reason why I shouldn't be able to make these lifeboat-sized arms of mine smaller before I have to don my beautiful navy blue bridesmaid dress for my friend Sarah's wedding this May. No reason at all. 

Let's look at some pictures of my bulging (for all the wrong reasons) biceps before moving on, shall we? (Ooh, something shiny...)

Flappy! This was taken after the first 5 days of my first boot camp.

Those wings could "lift us up where we belong."

 

Dude, that girl is pissed. Probably because her arms are so huge. Those ripples are not muscles, folks. And the answer to your question is, "Passionately singing along to 'Hold On' by Wilson Phillips at my friend Anne's wedding."

Same pic from another angle! Sarah, the bride in the upcoming wedding, observes my arms in horror from behind. "Those things are going to hurt someone!"

My arm has it's own boob.

One of these things is not like the other. Guess which arm is mine. And the answer to your question is, "Yes, I was wearing a zebra-print tank at a New Kids on the Block Concert."

And that, folks, is why I've determined what I've determined.

So, why should this work? Why should this non-goal be a non-failure? Because it's easy, that's why.

I have, in my possession, two sets of hand weights, a gym membership until the end of March (with rowing machine!), a newly purchased set of wrist weights and an also newly purchased set of resistance bands. Most arm-strengthening workouts do not require sweating, so the excuse of "I don't feel like getting sweaty today/tonight" is out the window. So is the "I don't have time" excuse. I don't need a full-blown workout to work my arms a little. Hell, I'd be content to do 3 sets of 10-15 for maybe 2 arm exercises a day. I also plan to play my Just Dance Wii game with my new wrist weights attached.

And another reason this is going to work: because I have low expectations. I don't expect Jillian Michaels arms. I just want mine to be smaller. To look better (as determined by me) in my sleeve-free dress.

My dress. Dessy.com

Three cheers for terrible Photoshopping (not by me, thank you)!

So, that's what I've got for you. A non-commitment to a non-goal. I will also give you promise to get pictures of my arms in the dress come May. Just pester me in case I forget.

Happy Anniversary To Me!

Today, March 1, marks the one-year anniversary of the day I started running.

[pause for applause]

Well, that could be a lie. Please don't throw anything at me. I actually don't know the exact date I started running. What I do know is that my gym membership expired at the end of February last year and I started running because of that expired gym membership. I know that there wasn't much time between the two either. So, for the sake of having a date, I will, from this point forward, recognize March 1 as my running anniversary date.

Happy anniversary to me!

Did I ever think I'd be here? Nope.

Am I still a little shocked that I am here? Yep.

Am I happy I did it? You betchya!

So, to commemorate this occasion, I'm going to spend the next few blog entries comparing and contrasting where I am now versus where I was a year ago. I thought that reviewing the year would be a little redundant, but I think this little exercise could be fun.

I'll start with something I did today and actually just started doing about two weeks ago ...

One year ago, I was petrified of what I looked like and sounded like after a run. I'd finish my workouts (Week 1 of Couch to 5k: run 30 seconds, walk 90 seconds, repeat), and would be tomato red and dripping sweat from every skin cell, hair follicle, and thread of my clothing. My mother was the only person fortunate enough to get to see me like that.

Also, many of you have been with me from the beginning and know about my over-awareness of my heavy breathing. The freight train. A year ago, that heavy breathing would last a lot longer than it does now and would be a lot more intense. There was a lot more choking involved too. Yum! And like now, I suffered from post-run sneezes (hasn't changed a bit, though it goes away in during the hot months).

After runs a year ago, I was lucky to make it home to the couch. I didn't dream of being any more active than putting on my pajamas and refilling my bottle of water before heading to bed.

Finally, I didn't want to be seen in my drenched workout clothes, a dilapidated collection of yoga-pants-turned-pajama-pants-turned-running-gear and old t-shirts. Sweaty? Yes. But they also showed some very unattractive jiggly parts on my 30-pounds-heavier-than-today frame.

Today, after my 2.2-mile run/walk (10 minutes run, 1 minute walk, repeat 2.5 times because I cut it short), I went to Michael's in search of a bottle of the seemingly non-existent strawberry extract that Ms. Paula Deen calls for in her strawberry cake recipe, which I plan on making quite soon. Thanks Paula. (If anyone spots this stuff anywhere, please let me know ASAP

Anyway, I got to Michael's (a short drive from Juilfs), wiped my forehead on my sleeve, put my zip-up hoodie on, and checked for major hair fly-aways in my rear-view mirror before heading on in. No sweat.

Well, yes sweat, but not much and I know how to "hide" it now. Practice makes perfect.

Activity after running? Sure, why not? Actually, these days I feel rip-roarin' and ready to go after running. Not right after running, but give me a 5-minute cool down walk and my legs are good as new. (That probably speaks to the fact that I need to up intensity and/or distance of my runs a bit, but you get the point.) In fact, I'll often have more energy than before I started.

So yes, quite a contrast between today and a year ago.

This is fun! Check back over the next few posts and I'll see what else I can dig up. I'll try to post more frequently for the next few entries, I promise.

PS, I purchased tickets for something today that requires me to meet a maximum weight that I'm currently 25 pounds above. And I have to do it before September.

This is not a goal. This is a financial commitment (a whopping $35) that I have to adhere to. No big deal.

NOT A GOAL. Do you hear me?

[stops shaking finger at no one, calmly sits back down on couch]

Ahem. Sorry about that.

Anyway, that is why I've reserved Jillian Michaels' 30-Day Shred on Netflix. I should have it by later this week so I can figure out if it's worth the purchase.

Not a goal.