The Blunders and Burdens of Being a Bouncing BBW

I have made a conscious decision to skip my run tomorrow evening.

[Ducks and covers to avoid thrown shoes]

Excuse me, but I still have to clean out the old apartment and I've been delaying too much already. Some things can wait (running). Some things cannot (cleaning to avoid extra expense). And who throws a shoe? Honestly?

Anyway, since I'm skipping my workout, I figured I'd punish myself by writing one of my "I'll tell you about that later" blog entries.

Today's topic? Boobs.

Do I have your attention now?

As I've mentioned before, I'm a BBW -- a big-breasted woman, as I believe we called it in my high school color guard.

(Yes, color guard. I know. Later. Now, focus. Don't make me type, italicize, bold, and enlarge the "B" word again.)

We're talking big. Like, break-your-own-nose-if-you-run-without-proper-support big. It's relatively hard to tell when you look at me because my stomach and fat rolls #1a through #4c, combined with my chest, make my torso look like a lumpy box instead of a top-heavy light bulb. Which speaks to the size of my stomach and rolls, because I have really broad shoulders too. (I'm painting a really pretty picture of myself, aren't I?)

This is all relevant, I swear.

Back in February, my friend Anne wrote about the challenges of finding a good, supportive sports bra if your chesty and active. (Feel free to check out the entry over at thefitbridesmaid.) And it is challenging! I remember being very young and being frustrated with the beating my chest would take from running the bases at softball or up and down the basketball court or in gym class. It didn't help that I developed at an extremely young age (one of the side effects of being an overweight child) and was surrounded by girls my age who had chests flatter than Clay Aiken's. My mom did buy me sports bras, but not great ones -- just whatever was cheapest and they didn't help much. Not her fault. The bouncing still hurt and looked ridiculous.

I think it was at the end of high school when I finally decided to start wearing two of them at once to try to tame the beasts. That helped, but I was embarassed when someone asked me why I wore two. At that time I didn't have the attitude I have now and didn't think to say, "Because I'm a whole 'lotta woman, little girl! I bet you don't have to wear one at all, do you?" Ha! Nah, I don't even have the guts to say that out loud now. In my head, it's a different story.

But the day finally came when I discovered the miracle bra. I wish I could remember how I found it. I don't know if it was a friend's recommendation or Oprah that pointed me to Enell . These are full-coverage, fugly bras for BBWs and beyond. (Okay, I think I just invented a future lingere shop name, right there. Copyrighted ... you can't steal it now!)

No, they aren't one bit attractive; they cover your front from your collar bone to your belly button practically. They're only moderately comfortable; they're made to be really, really tight to batten down the hatches. And they're expensive! Well, expensive as far as sports bras go, anyway.

But I couldn't care less. When I put that puppy on, not only am I fully secured and virtually bounceless when I run, but I'm very nearly Clay Aiken flat, which I haven't been since second grade.

So why am I telling you all this? Because everyone likes to read about boobs, right? Riiiight.

[Cue the inspirational music and wind machine while I step up on my podium]

Actually, it's because I want you all to know. I want you to know, in case you don't experience it first hand, that there are some additional challenges involved with being an active BBW. I want you to know about Enell bras so that you can spread the word. I want you to be able to console the next struggling, burgeoning little girl you come across and I want you to tell her that there's hope. She can do whatever she wants to do and she doesn't have to be embarassed by her bouncing bosoms.

[Crescendo music, shots of hopeful BBWs.]

She can run, she can jump, she can lock 'em and load 'em and reach for the stars. I want you to help me empower her!

[Wide shot of cheering crowd. And, scene.]

Are you crying yet, because I just welled up a little. Sniff.

Do you feel more educated? Or more violated? Do you have experience in this area? If so, I'd love to hear your words of wisdom, as I'm sure other readers will.

Okay, so, future run TBD. Moving madness should decrease significantly after this weekend, but will not be complete until April 30. Maybe I'll try to run before cleanup on Friday, or Saturday morning? Bah!

Quick Update: A Setback in Week 2

Good afternoon.

Yes, that's right, it's a Thursday afternoon and I'm blogging ... because I'm not at work. I took two days off to move. Yes, that's right, still moving. Yuu-uu-uuck. I just took a brief lunch break and thought I'd take a few moments to ensure you all that I did run this morning as planned.

An interesting thing happened, and I'm not entirely sure why. I finished with a full minute on the clock, whereas last time I ran this workout (Week 2), I had a full two minutes on the clock. The difference between these two occurrences? I started the workout walking with someone else -- my mom.

Now, she's a slow walker, even by my standards (which is slow), but she walked quickly with me for the five-minute warm-up. I guess it wasn't quick enough and I didn't even realize that I might have been walking slower than usual. But, I'm thinking that's the main cause for my slowness. In fact, for a few of the running portions, I thought I was going quite fast.

Eh, whatever. It was gorgeous at the park today, so it was worth it.

One last thing. 'Tis the season for 5Ks, and I know I've brought it up before, but I need to decide if and when I can try one. Many of you offered great feedback on the kinds of runs I should try, and I defintely agree. I appreciate the advice too; I would never have thought to distinguish between a serious 5K and a fun one. But now that you've mentioned it, I know exactly what you all mean.

There's a 5K run/walk happening in my neighborhood, literally a baseball's throw away from where I live now -- okay a really LONG baseball's throw. It's at the end of May and the route is quite hilly, so I'm a little reluctant. There are also a few throughout Cincinnati that I'd like to take a shot at: the Reggae Run (organized by one of my professors), the Reds 5K, and the Hyde Park Blast. Basically, anything with a party at the end is going to be a safe bet, I'm guessing.

Okay, I must get back to packing and moving. Forgive the short and icky post; I'll do better next time. Check back soon for my feature on BBW* exercise.

*See the asterisk at the end of my last post.

Repetition is Good. So are Running Buddies.

There is some value to repeating the same intervals and venturing down the same path every time you run. I've learned that over the last few workouts. One, it's easy to see how your stamina changes -- how out of breath was I today compared to yesterday? Two, it's quite gratifying to notice yourself finishing laps quicker than you did before. That,to me, is the best motivation.

Holy crap! I'm actually getting better?!

I took it easy on my run today. I'm happy with that decision. Coming off a weekend full of nasty back pain, stepping back to Week 1 intervals felt like a safe, cushiony rest. That being said ... wow! The Week 1 workout was EASY! I barely broke a sweat! I cannot believe it. I even picked up my pace at one point to run briefly up and down a hill/dip. YAY!

Me? Running faster? Eh? Confused.

"Running" wasn't even part of my vocabulary until recently, let alone "faster."

Excuse me while I pat myself on the back (a tough feat for a BBW*). Sigh.

On that note, I would like to take a minute to thank my running buddy for today. This was a new experience to me. You see, my history of running with anyone else stopped when I graduated from high school. Something about spending 13 years being the fat girl in class who can't run with the rest of her classmates, and who was often left on the track as the rest of the kids made their way back to the gymnasium, and then being teased about it later, leaves a deep scar. Bullies suck, y'all!

Anyway, boohoo, it's over and past. Now I read and hear constantly about how running and working out with a buddy is beneficial. And I got to experience just a taste of that when I joined a gym with my co-workers. The accountability is one thing, but the chance to talk about the experience before and after the workout is another added perk. (And, of course, being able to make fun of the crazies in your step class is even better.)

Pardon the tangent. As I was saying, I ran with a buddy today. My buddy seemed to experience some of the same challenges I had two months ago when this whole running nonsense started. To her I say, speaking from recent experience, it gets worse. Ha! Not what you expect to hear, right? What I mean is the first run is the hardest, which might make you feel like stopping, but don't. Finish. Press on. Realize that you're not as bad as you think you are. You and I are already doing more than so, so many people do, and that counts for a lot.

Aside from keeping myself on track and counting on my readers to call me out on any signs of slacking, I hope that this blog can serve as encouragement for people like me. I hear it a lot, but it's true in this case: If I can do it, anyone can!

And with that, I have officially lost my writing mojo for the night. Hmm.

OH! One other thing. I've been thinking about running a 5K and I'd like your feedback on the topic. When should I try one? If I can comfortably do two miles of walk/run, can I manage the third? The thought of unexpected hills and bumpy streets is scary to me. Should I give it a try first? How will I know I'm okay to try the race? Again, your expertise is appreciated.

Well, I'll be running again on Thursday morning (two vacation days to move) so check back to make sure I did it. Okay? Thanks!

Comment, people. What are your experiences with running or just working out with a buddy?

* For those of you unfamiliar with this term, to me, BBW is "big-breasted woman." I will be exploring the challenges of being a BBW and being active at a later date.