I ran less than two miles for today's workout. I enjoyed about a quarter-mile of it, tolerated a mile of it, and spent the other quarter-mile-ish trying to figure out how I was going to get myself to keep up with running--or rather, if I was going to keep up with running.
If you've been around me or talked to me at all lately, you know this has been going on in my head for a while. In fact, I know exactly when it started. May 1, somewhere between 7 a.m. and 10 a.m.
I burned out. I reached the point of "this is where I was going, I'm here, now what?"
I've finished the Couch to 5K (C25K) program, I've finished a year's worth of 5K events, I've finished a 10K, and I've finished a half-marathon (and never want to do one again). I finished one boot camp a year ago, took an early exit from the most recent boot camp.
I've lost two toenails, injured both knees, and exacerbated my back problems. I've lost 40-ish pounds (10-ish through step aerobics during the year before I started running, the other 30 immediately following last year's boot camp, and nothing since).
I've nudged a handful of people start running, fall in love with running, pretend to hate running (but do it anyway and secretly enjoy it).
I've told good stories, funny stories, gross stories (hello runners' trots, toenails and calluses). I've read books and magazines and Internet articles.
I've stopped enjoying it. I can count the number of runs in the last two months that I've thoroughly enjoyed on one hand. I can no longer tell if I'm itching to go for a run or if my guilty conscience is making me think I'm itching to run.
I don't want to go backwards, but I'm not so sure I want to run anymore. I certainly can't think of any other form of exercise that I want to do, that would give me the same sense of accomplishment that running did (or is as cheap as running is).
I don't feel like I accomplish anything with my running anymore.
I don't have anything to cross off. I used to cross off days and weeks of C25K. Then I crossed off races. Then I crossed off days until the Pig.
I'm also kind of removed from running buddies lately. Not that I need people to run with, but talking about it helps. Schedules, a job change, etc. have gotten in the way of me getting to talk about it as much as I used to. Remember this post? Talking about it ... what a novel idea. Wish I had thought of that sooner. =)
Anyway, I'm tired. What should I do? What else can I try?
Whew, huge downer post, folks. Sorry about that. This has been brewing for a while. If you've come through something similar, I'd love to hear about it. Or if you have any ideas, please speak up.
It's hard to get over the "I'm not having fun anymore" hump. Is it the running you're burned out on, or is it that you feel like you don't have any more goals you're trying to reach?
ReplyDeleteIf running is starting to bum you out, are there any logical activity progressions that could come out of it? Participating in some kind of sport that involves running is an option (soccer, softball, etc.). Or maybe you just need a vacation from running -- a month or so of all stationary exercises. Or something. I'm personally an advocate of doing nothing at all...
I guess the question is: why drove you to start running in the first place? Is that something you can recapture?
Maybe you need an additional challenge that involves running, but for which running is only a piece of the puzzle... thinking running/swimming biathalon or running/swimming/cycling triathalon.
ReplyDeleteOR
Maybe you need more variety in general. You should challenge yourself to compete in various sports that involve running a la "Dhani Tackles the Globe" (Where Dhani Jones of the Bengals travels the globe to learn and then compete in a local sport - sadly, it was recently canceled) I am not saying travel the globe, but give yourself the opportunity to try a bunch of new activities without fully committing.
No FREAKING way. Just lost a giant freaking response. Bastards.
ReplyDeleteIn short, the idea of mixing it up for awhile and doing something else for cardio besides running is a great idea. This is essentially what I do every summer because I just despise running on treadmills or in the head and humidity. As in every fiber of my being. So instead I suck it up and go to the gym, hop on the stationary bike we have, or take the dogs for a walk (still hot and sweaty mess, though they don't care).
Also kinda sounds like you need some goals to get back to running. Before you got to keep crossing things off as you accomplished them, so what about now? Add some new races to the mix? New kinds of runs (hills, fartleks, speed work, etc.)?
Hope that kinda helps. You're not alone, know that, at the least. My love for running rises and falls with the seasons it seems. Well, that and the fact that Mr Awesome Boyfriend is like 3-4 minutes faster than me PER MILE and sometimes I just despise being Little Miss Slow-Ass. Meh. Just my two cents :)